She was gone. 

I watched her walk into the pitch black night until she became just a speck that disappeared.  I collapsed, inconsolable, onto the bricks of my front porch that stormy summer night more than a decade ago with my mind reeling between grief and fear. 

Would my daughter ever come home again?  

Most of us are familiar with the Prodigal Son story from Luke 15, but, for me, it had never been more real than when it leapt off the pages of the Bible and became my real-life family scenario.

Luke recalls the story of a son who packed up all his worldly possessions, grabbed his portion of the inheritance, and ran away from home.

Having turned his back on his family and everything he had been raised to love and cherish, the prodigal son left his father’s house and proceeded to “…squander his livelihood on foolish living.” (Luke 15:13)

The deep anguish that father must have felt when his son openly ran into the arms of the world now took up residence in my own heart.

Ironically, in the midst of all of the grieving I was going through, it soon became apparent to me that I was running away as much as my daughter was – the only difference was that my running was internal.

I was confused and heartbroken and felt completely worthless, useless, and hopeless.  Obviously, I had utterly failed at being a parent – how could I possibly get anything else right? 

So, in spite of my tears, prayers, and overall exhaustion, I was internally running from God. My days were spent self-analyzing and nit-picking through the past to see if I could have done something differently that would have altered the agonizing circumstances I now found myself in.

My self-absorbed focus wedged a divide between God and I that only continued to get worse as I spiraled deeper into my internal misery.

Come to Me.  Come home.

The very heart cry for my own daughter are the words my heavenly Father used to draw me as His loving invitation remained constant.  He encouraged me to bring Him my fears, my worries, my burdens, my anger, my heartbreak and let it all go.  Stop running…just come home.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)

There was no way I could rewrite the past; no way I could undo heart-wrenching regrets.  I could only rest in His forgiveness, His mercy, and His incredible ability to make the broken paths straight (Is. 45:2). 

I’m sure the father in Luke 15 wrestled with some of these same issues.  Yet, in spite of his parental humanness, flaws, shortcomings, and sins, on one glorious day, he looked up to see his wayward son coming back down his driveway.  His prodigal son had come home! (Luke 15:20)

God used that prodigal season in my own life to mend and reconcile my wayward heart to His so that, years later, when my daughter did come home, our hearts were able to be reconciled.

What has you running from God today, friend?  There is no fear, burden, or worry that our Father cannot handle if you’ll just return to Him and give Him your heart.  No matter what, He loves you completely and invites you to come home – the door is always open.

Until next time, Grace and Glory!