When my incredible husband and I married in 2003, I really thought I was a super-Christian that had this wife thing in the bag!  I’d been walking with Jesus long enough (I thought) to be able to foster a Norman Rockwell meets Thomas Kincaid kind of environment.

I envisioned a blissful marriage, a perfectly accessorized home, and a harmonious family that would “live happily ever after” (anyone laughing out loud yet?).  What I didn’t realize was how fast the ugly that was lying dormant inside of me was going to surface! 

I had been a single mother for a decade prior to our marriage and had become very accustomed to calling all the shots, making all the decisions, and giving all the directions.  Now, overnight, there was another adult who thought he had a say in the family, children, and household issues.

Let’s just say that the Civil War was probably easier to navigate than our marriage was those first several years.

I was secretly appalled at my behavior – the heated outbursts, the biting sarcasm, and the bitter grudges.  It was ugly – plain and simple.  I was 33-years old but, behind closed doors, I morphed into this selfish 3-year old who just wanted her way.

What I’ve come to realize now (that I wish I would have understood better back then) is that God will purposefully place us in situations and circumstances that will reveal what is actually in our hearts. 

We can trick ourselves into thinking we’re “pretty good” and, based on all of our “pretty good” outward behavior, we pat ourselves on the back and continue on our merry way.  BUT THEN, a slow driver cuts out in front of us or the waitress gets our order wrong or a family member says something hurtful and *SNAP* out of our mouth comes a load of ugly that was funneled up from a heart that still has selfish tendencies.

In Luke 6, Jesus shared a parable that slices and dices us, as people, so aptly.  He said, “A good person brings good out of the treasure of good things in his heart; a bad person brings bad out of his treasure of bad things. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (vs. 45 GNT)

God loves us too much to let us stay in those cesspools of ugly – the anger, bitterness, resentment, fear, or pride.  He will craft the perfect circumstances so as to show us what is really in our hearts that we might be utterly dependent on Him to change us and make us more like Him!

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, oh Lord…” (Ps. 19:14)  Today and always…

Until next time, Grace and Glory!