Have you ever tried to put toothpaste back into the tube?  It’s pretty much impossible, isn’t it?  And, once it’s out, it can be quite a mess to clean up.

I have lost count of the times where my words have been like renegade toothpaste squeezed out of its tube without restraint.  Moments when, in the heat of my emotions, I’ve reacted and made quite a mess of things. 

And, nowhere, does this tend to hit home more than in a family, even more so, a blended one.

When Anthony and I married nearly 17 years ago, we immediately combined two sets of children.  But, our kiddos weren’t the only things moving into the house together. 

All of our diverse backgrounds, our emotional, mental, and spiritual baggage, along with varying ideals of parenting (and being parented) took up residence with us, as well.  These foundational differences, along with a major lack of compassion, had us periodically spewing out toxic words at each other that left the recipients internally wounded.

We quickly proved that the old adage “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” was absolute rubbish.  Countless tears were shed due to insensitive words hurled in the heat of the moment.

Interestingly, the disciple James recognized that using words wisely would be an issue with folks.  He also linked our ability to control our tongue to our maturity.

“We all stumble in many ways.  If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is mature, able also to control the whole body.” (James 3:2) 

If we’re being honest, I’m sure most of us would agree that we could do much better with our words on a daily basis.  Learning to speak life, articulate truth, and verbalize grace is a process. 

Just like we don’t expect newborns to speak in complete sentences when they’re born, the Lord exhibits and extends much compassion to us as His children as He helps us learn to use our tongues to express good things that help build up, strengthen, and bless the person on the receiving end.

My partial Brady Bunch of a family is a far cry from where we were almost two decades ago.  The toxic rants are a thing of the past and the insensitive words are less and less.

Sure, we still have much to learn and more grace to receive, but my heart’s daily cry for us is that God would help us all to be “slow to speak and quick to hear” (James 1:19) as we continue to learn how to tame our tongues.

Until next time, Grace and Glory!